George Herrick

“I can’t do THAT! It’s IMPOSSIBLE!”

Have you ever said that? Ever believed it? Ever absolutely KNOWN it to be true? Probably – most of us have. We may have said it differently, like “I’ll never be as (strong, rich, successful, whatever) as so-and-so is,” or “I just wasn’t born to be a ______,” or some other message that keeps us from trying something.

That’s fine, if it is really true. But how do we know if it is really true? Simple: if we have tried it repeatedly, consistently and persistently, and have gotten qualified or experienced help and guidance, and have done our due diligence in researching and trying alternative ways to do it, and used every resource at our disposal, all to no avail, then perhaps, maybe, possibly, it might be true that we can’t do that thing.

But most of us give up trying long before the evidence shows we can’t do it. That’s not a problem if we discover that it just wasn’t as important to us as we thought, or it didn’t satisfy us the way we had hoped it would. But if it is something that we feel passionate about or feel deeply called to – if it’s our DREAM – then this kind of thinking is a big saboteur! It’s a mental predator that will destroy our resolve and eventually become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So before you believe something is impossible for you, first follow these steps to see if it is something you can, want to and are able to do:

1) Determine how important it is to you. Stephen King’s first book was rejected nearly 3 dozen times before it was finally published. Diana Nyad was willing to suffer great pain to swim from Cuba to Florida, and failed multiple times until she finally made it at age 64. Malala Yousafzai and her father Ziauddin are willing to face death in order that girls be able to get an education. Kevin O’Leary built a billion-dollar business from a $1,000 loan. What all these people have in common is commitment, determination and discipline. Are you hungry enough for your dream to do what it takes to achieve it?

2) Acknowledge whether it can be done at all, by anyone. If it can be done by someone, it can probably be done by you (if you have enough desire for it). You are what is possible. Let go of what blocks you and build on your strengths.

3) If it can be done and you want to do it, what will it take to do it? What tools or resources do you need? What help do you need and who can provide it? What stamina (mental and emotional as well as physical) do you need and do you have enough? Or do you need to repair, recharge and “reboot” yourself in preparation for the task ahead?

4) Do you have enough support? Do you have people in your life who will cheerlead you and empower you to follow your dream?

5) Make a plan that has specific, measurable steps you can take on a consistent, persistent basis. A plan that you can follow even on those days when you begin to doubt yourself or your dream – you probably WILL have those days!

6) Remember that Inspiration + Motivation + Perspiration > Success. So keep finding or creating ways to be inspired and enthusiastic about what you are doing, ways to keep your motivation on fire, and ways to keep working at it. If the dream is important enough to you, so are the steps necessary to make it come true.

7) HAVE FUN! If your dream is not making you happy, what’s the point of doing it?

When you find something that really matters to you, be willing to go to any lengths to pursue it. It’s not about the goal or dream itself – it’s more about you and what you bring to your dream. Though your dream may seem impossible, say to yourself “I’m possible!” and then go pursue your vision.

Practical Tools for Better Living

In the chaos and pressure so many of us experience in our lives these days, it can be a real challenge to find any relaxation, balance or peace of mind. It’s gotten so bad that some people have even begun to think that relaxation means wasting time and peace of mind is a pipedream!

Yet all of nature takes time to relax, renew, revitalize. We must, too, or we pay a heavy price with higher stress, stagnation of any real progress, increased problems at home or work, and even illness.

But we have many resources available to us to turn this downward spiral around. Two of the best are meditation and creative expression.

WHAT IS MEDITATION?

Meditation is the practice of stilling the mind and body to a beneficial state of pure, simple, conscious awareness, either for some purpose or as an end in itself. Because meditation involves quieting and relaxing the mind and body, it is really something we LET happen rather than MAKE happen. We let it happen by stopping what we are doing.

WHAT IS CREATIVITY?

Creativity means making or inventing something new, or transforming something into a new form. I sometimes joke that to be creative is to open up your “X Factor:” X-plore, X-periment, X-amine, X-press. It’s all about trying something you haven’t done, or doing something in a way you haven’t done it.

WHY MEDITATE – WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?

It’s hard to pick up a magazine or visit the internet without seeing dozens of articles and reports on the physical, medical, psychological and emotional benefits of meditation. It lowers stress, improves heart function, improves memory function, helps muscles recover from strain… the list is long and getting longer as scientists continue to do research.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF CREATIVE EXPRESSION?

Current studies, particularly among the medical and psychological communities, are finding that many of the benefits of meditation are also true of creativity. In addition, performing creative acts also may help stimulate neuron connections in the brain – in other words, help us think more clearly and deeply. Again, research is finding more benefits every year.

WHAT IS A SIMPLE PROCESS FOR MEDITATING?

Here’s a very simple 5-step technique for basic meditation:

1. Begin with a simple little ritual of setting up a quiet environment – for example, turn phones and computers off, close the window blinds for some darkness, put on some soothing music.

2. Sit on a chair or the floor in a comfortable position and relax your body and mind to the extent that you can. Don’t force anything to happen or not happen.

3. Take a few deep breaths to help you relax more deeply. Then return to normal, natural breaths.

4. Focus your attention on something that doesn’t require you to think, such as noticing the inhale and exhale of your normal breathing, or on a spiritual word like “peace,” or on an object like a candle flame or a stone. This is a process of observation – gazing at – not one of analysis!

5. Whenever you realize that you are daydreaming, or thinking about something, or your body is itchy or twitchy, just return your attention to your breath, word or object.

Do this daily for about 15-20 minutes. That amount of time has the same positive effect on the mind and body as an hour of sleep (so it’s wise not to do it too close to bedtime!). You may not notice any immediate change or effect – the results are cumulative and may take some time before you notice a difference.

HOW CAN I PRACTICE BEING CREATIVE?

Here are 5 ways you can practice stimulating your creativity:

1. Doodling. Just make little drawings or symbols on a scrap of paper while you’re on the phone or watching TV.

2. Captioning photographs. Give photos a title, or if there are people or animals in the picture, give them a script of something to say – it can be humorous, deep, nonsensical; just use your imagination.

3. Make up some dance moves. Move aimlessly to some music, letting your arms swing and your legs jump or prance about. Be silly with it. Be careful you have enough room, then let yourself go nuts. If there’s no floor room, sit in a chair and just move your arms.

4. Get enough of the basic essentials of life: Air, Water, Exercise, Nutrition and Rest. Creativity thrives on good self-care.

5. Learn something new, then go teach it. This is possibly the most important. Learning something new stimulates the imagination and teaching what you’ve learned cements it in your thinking as a real change.

The more you practice, of course, the more creative skill and ease you will develop. But don’t worry about IF you are creative; everyone is. These tools will just help you have more command of your creativity. Enjoy!

In the first article in this series, “Our Addictive Culture,” we looked at the basis and cycle of addiction – and how it permeates every aspect of our culture. In fact, addiction is so rampant that it has become integrated into to our economy. Yet it is also destructive, not only to our economy, but to our freedom and way of life.

We can stop this cycle. Everyone who has gone through the rigors of turning from addiction to recovery knows that it can be done. But it is not easy. It requires radical changes in thinking and action, a real shift in our paradigm. Those who have recovered also know, however, that it is worth the effort it takes to succeed.

This is not a rant – I don’t see much value in making shopping lists of who or what is to blame. Blame serves little purpose, because it does not change anything. Instead, if each of us – from individual to corporation to government – simply hold ourselves accountable for our own part of the problem, and if each do our part to be responsible for the solution, the shift would occur on its own.

I’m an unapologetic optimist – I believe in positive possibility. But I’m not naïve. Not everyone is going to commit to the work of radical change. However, little shifts lead to big differences, and recovery from addiction happens just that way. Incremental, progressive changes tend to be more lasting than splashy, flashy dramatic events, and they build on the momentum of intentional action.

I created this formula for clients who are committed to making positive changes in their lives:

Inspiration – what changes you want to make

+ Motivation – why you want those changes

+ Perspiration – how you will make the changes

+ Integration – who you will be as a result

Transformation – happens automatically as a result

I believe this same formula can work in the macrocosm of the culture as it does in the microcosm of the individual, and that is my dream and my challenge.

The big question, of course, is why change? Well if the economic instability, unemployment, chronic war, poor health, inadequate education, socioeconomic inequality, poor trade relations, political turmoil and all the other problems we create for ourselves are not reason enough, then perhaps we have become hopeless. I do not believe we have; I believe we are simply in denial that there is something we can do about it.

We do not need to get defensive or self-deprecating about what we have done to ourselves and our nation – we are human and we have individually and collectively made mistakes. But when we find that our habits are hurting us more than they are helping us, we have the capacity to change them.

Shifting the Paradigm

To begin both a personal and a cultural shift from our addictive habits and mindsets to a viable, practical recovery lifestyle, the process is simple yet challenging. We need to get HIGH:

      Honesty – to tell the truth, without agenda or manipulation;

      Integrity – to act with honesty, respect and sincerity;

      Gratitude – to appreciate all of life as either a blessing or an opportunity to learn;

      Humility – to be teachable and willing to grow and evolve.

Here is my challenge to you:

1. Commit to living those four principles to the best of your ability for a month;

2. Hold yourself accountable by telling at least one other person of your commitment and asking them to join you. Then support each other throughout the month.

3. Deepen your commitment by choosing not to do business with or spend your time with businesses, people, experiences, etc. that derail or interrupt you from this commitment.

I can hear the balking! “You’re joking, right? That is way too much to ask!!!” There is no question that this is a challenge, and will sometimes feel very uncomfortable, perhaps triggering feelings of fear or isolation. But those feelings will pass and the discomfort will ease with perseverance. You already have the capability to do it – the question is do you have the willingness to face temporary discomfort on behalf of long-term joy and freedom? This is doable, because people in recovery do it every day.

Those who have practiced this have seen remarkable results, with varying degrees of transformation from stress, overwhelm and “stuckness” to greater ease, serenity and vitality. The reason is simple: addiction thrives on denial, manipulation, dissatisfaction and closed-mindedness, whereas recovery thrives on honesty, integrity, gratitude and humility!

I hope you will accept the challenge, and if you do you can count on me to be available to support you, answer questions and encourage you. Just contact me at georgeherrick.com and let me know how you are doing.

This ends the series that began in April, “National Recovery Month,” but from time to time I will post follow-up articles to keep the momentum alive and the information current. Thank you for following the series, and for your participation – to whatever degree – in recovery. The world, and each of us in it, deserves to Live the Soul of Recovery, but it will not just happen, we must create it.

Until next time,

Keep your mind open to what is possible for you;

Keep your heart open to what is meaningful to you;

Keep your hands open to what is doable by you;

And keep your soul open to what makes you come joyfully alive.

There is a hard truth few of us want to accept: We are responsible for everything in our lives. Now before you throw something at me, read on.

We are accountable for what we do and say, but we’re responsible for everything, including what we do and say. Responsible means, “able to respond.” Can we respond to everything? Of course, we actually do! We respond by doing something or not doing something. By commission or omission, consciously or unconsciously, we respond to everything we experience.

How we respond is up to us (although, of course, we are accountable for the response we make!). As the third Pillar of Living the Soul of Recovery, Mastery is about being conscious in our responses. That takes rigorous honesty, integrity, and personal ownership of our choices. It takes a willingness to be accountable.

You have some sort of an experience? How do you choose to respond to it? Likewise, you have a vision for your life? How do you choose to respond to that vision? Will you do whatever it asks of you or will you retreat in frustration or weariness? The three components that will guide and support us in making the right choices on behalf of our Vision are: Strategy, Action and Maintenance. Let’s take a look at each.

Strategy – How to Develop a Structure for Your Vision

A vision is just an idle daydream if we don’t create a plan for it. What will it take to make the vision a reality? What steps do we have to take? What help will we need?

Just as the 12 Steps are a structure for recovery in AA, the ABCDE model is a structure for recovery in Rational Recovery, and the 6 Guidelines are a structure for recovery in SOS, so do we need a structure to strategize and plan out how we will accomplish our vision for a great life in recovery. To get from here to there, the three questions in the previous paragraph are a simple but practical start for the process.

Action – How to Put Your Strategy to Work for You

There is work to do; a vision won’t manifest by itself. It needs daily attention. There is something we can do on its behalf every day, though what that something is will likely change from day to day.

Of the many ways we can build in accountability to keep ourselves on track with our strategy, one of my favorites is commonly used in business. It is called working SMART, which stands for:

Specific – what must you do for your vision, in clear, concise, succinct terms?

Measurable – how will you know for sure that you are making progress?

Achievable – Can each step be done? How?

Relevant – Do all the steps lead toward your vision?

Timely – How will you ensure that you neither rush it nor dawdle?

Maintenance – How to Develop the Agility, Resilience and Perseverance to Sustain Your AIM in Recovery

Perseverance is key to success in any endeavor. It is easy to keep going when everything is running smoothly, going our way, and enjoyable. But we are going to hit rough spots, challenges, frustrations. Sometimes it may seem like the universe is conspiring against us instead of for us. How do we stay on track when the going gets tough?

A few of the many tools that can help you go with the flow while staying on target include:

1. Be like a hawk. A hawk can see the whole panorama and the details of the little mouse at the same time. But what does the hawk do? It glides on the air currents, relaxing until it has the energy and the mouse is in the right spot – then the hawk strikes. Be focused but patient. Do the next right thing, don’t do everything at once.

2. Be like a wolf. Did you know wolves choose their leaders by who is most creative or playful? Take your vision seriously, but at the same time have fun with it. Be curious, creative, playful.

3. Be like a cat. When a cat is at rest, it rests completely. Yet if there is a sound that resembles food, toy or prey, the cat’s little ear will follow that sound. It is determining what the sound is and how close. Even when a cat is doing one thing, it is aware of what’s around it.

So now you have the basic outline for keeping your AIM (Awareness, Intention and Mastery) on the target of an empowered, enthusiastic and enjoyable long-term recovery. There is so much more to Living the Soul of Recovery, and I hope you’ve enjoyed this taste of it.

Once we know who we truly, deeply are, the next step is to determine where we are going (or growing) in life. What is it, exactly, that we intend for ourselves? To answer that, we have to know how heart’s deep desire.

Many recovery circles talk about going where we are led, of getting “out of the driver’s seat.” There is some wisdom in that, but at the same time it is important to know who or what is leading us or driving us, and where we are going.

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other 12-Step programs, the answer to that is God or the Higher Power of our individual understanding. Step 11 says in part, “…praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”

But how do we know God’s will, or if we’re not believers, how do we know our heart’s deep desire? I believe they are one and the same. The major religions and philosophies refer to it as our “calling” or purpose. This calling is the basis for our Intention if we are to be true to ourselves. At issue here is aligning three questions: Who am I? Who do I want to be? Who am I called to be? When we can find the single thread that weaves through those questions, Intention is clear.

There are three components – Vision, Power and Embodiment – that make up the second pillar of Living the Soul of Recovery, which guide us to bringing the answers to those questions into alignment. Here is an overview of them.

Vision – How to Create a Vision for Your Life

What is the deep desire of your heart and soul? We tend to think of desire in terms of acquisition and/or accomplishment. There is nothing wrong with that. But they are things, symbols, and are only representations (at best) what we really seek. True desire goes deeper, into the meaning and sense of purpose in life that no external thing or achievement can truly fulfill.

The real desire is not so much about what you want to have in life. It is a little more about what you want to do in life. But it is mostly about who you want to be in life. This is what to envision. Imagine what it would look like, feel like, and be like to embody this deep desire.

One way to think about it is what impact do you want to have or what legacy do you want to leave? And why is that important to you? See it as clearly as you can in your mind’s eye. Recognize it in others. Notice it in the pictures or movies or videos you see.  Get as clear and vivid an image as you can of what calls you to step into the fullness of you’re your possibility.

Power – How to Use Your Unique Talents and Abilities on Behalf of Your Vision

Once you have a vision for the life you deeply desire and are called to, how will you achieve it? What are the thoughts, beliefs and actions necessary for you to manifest this life?

This is where your power comes into play. By this I mean your true power, your capabilities, not control, which is only the illusion of power. True power is seated in your Essence (see the previous blog) and is built by the persistent expression of your inner attributes, values and truth. It is in being a person of integrity and positive intention that you align with this power.

When we truly commit ourselves, to the best of our ability, to what has the greatest meaning, purpose and joy for us, all kinds of synchronicities (coincidences) come to our aid to empower and support us further. Events, circumstances, people, opportunities all but conspire to pave our way.

Embodiment – How to Sharpen and Ground Your Vision

It is not enough, however, to see where we want to go or what changes and actions are necessary to get there. The desire has to be felt – viscerally and emotionally – as deeply as possible. When we embody our passion, another term people use for this heart and soul desire, we make it as real and palpable as we can so it is not like some theoretic concept in our imagination but a real part of us, just waiting to come to fruition.

Then the task is simply to do the things that keep replicating that feeling. We have all heard stories of long-distance runners imagining and feeling the thrill of breaking the tape at the finish line, or singers who walk into an empty arena and can “hear” the concert crowd cheering their performance. This is embodiment. Sensing, feeling and being our way through the right actions and into the life we desire.

Lest you think that this process is impossible, rest assured that we can’t do any of this 100%. Becoming more fully aware of our wisdom and essence (previous article) and our vision and power is an unfolding, like a flower blooming. But this blooming takes a lifetime. Each day we just do our best, without excuses or rationalizations or negative self-judgment.