HOW TO REDUCE HOLIDAY STRESS

“Round the table, may peace and joy prevail. May all who share this season’s delight enjoy countless more.”– Chinese Blessing

 The holidays – Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Solstice, Christmas, New Year’s, Kwanzaa, etc. – are meant to be times of celebration and meaning. Yet they often trigger stress because of the expectations, assumptions, pressure and judgment we attach to them.

It doesn’t have to be that way, yet for so many, that stress is so familiar and habitual that to try to eliminate it just adds more stress. So is it enough to just reduce the stress, and manage whatever level of stress we may feel? Absolutely! Studies have shown that reducing stress from a 9 (on a scale of 10 being highest) to even a 7 or so can be significant in improving your health and mental well-being.

How can we reduce our stress, even a tick or two? Here are some helpful tips:

REDUCING AND MANAGING STRESS:

1. Remember the meaning of the holiday and be grateful for what you have;
2. Don’t over-promise or over-extend yourself;
3. Set a budget and stick to it;
4. Celebrate the good things in life;
5. Don’t make the holidays competitive;
6. Allow enough time – for travel, for cooking, etc.
7. Ask for help when you need it;
8. Give help when you can (but remember #2)
9. Get enough exercise and “you” time;
10. Communicate issues or problems before they become resentments;
11. Lighten up – play, laugh, tell fond stories and jokes (but never at someone else’s expense);
12. Let go of expectations and assumptions – the best present is to BE present, with love, joy, compassion and forgiveness.

DEALING WITH ANXIETY:

1. Breathe! Take a few slow, deep breaths, and focus on the inflow and outflow of your breath;
2. Avoid newscasts, or  people and situations that trigger you,  as much as you can;
3. Distract yourself with something relaxing when you are triggered;
4. Challenge your thinking: stick to facts and not suppositions;
5. Try to notice repetitive or obsessive thoughts and do something different (“move a muscle, change a thought”);
6. Make a gratitude list, no matter how simple or basic, and focus on what you are grateful for;
7. Get exercise by walking, working out, stretching, etc.;
8. “Observe your thoughts, don’t believe them.” (Eckhart Tolle) Watch your anxious thoughts as if they belong to someone else.

TO BUILD RESILIENCE:

1. Think optimistically, not negatively.
2. Be flexible and willing to compromise;
3. Stick to your values, but let go of your having to be “right” about everything;
4. Get support from others who are not bothered by whatever is bothering you;
5. Get exercise and drink enough water;
6. Deal with your fears as they arise, rather than letting them accumulate;
7. Trust that you can bounce back from the situation;
8. Learn whatever you can from the situation (then it’s useful!)

IF YOU’RE IN RECOVERY:

1. Go to extra meetings or use your particular support network;
2. Avoid parties where the core event is drinking/drugging/eating;
3. Go to parties late and leave early, and have your own transportation;
4. Avoid stressful, pressure-filled situations;
5. Don’t engage in other people’s dramas;
6. Don’t let resentments build – resolve disagreements quickly;
7. Watch what you eat and drink so you don’t ingest something that’s spiked;
8. Remember, it’s easier to maintain recovery than attain recovery, so protect yours!

Enjoy your holidays, your family and friends. Stay safe. Remember the holiday’s meaning. And I wish you all the blessings of the season – with ease and serenity!