There is a hard truth few of us want to accept: We are responsible for everything in our lives. Now before you throw something at me, read on.
We are accountable for what we do and say, but we’re responsible for everything, including what we do and say. Responsible means, “able to respond.” Can we respond to everything? Of course, we actually do! We respond by doing something or not doing something. By commission or omission, consciously or unconsciously, we respond to everything we experience.
How we respond is up to us (although, of course, we are accountable for the response we make!). As the third Pillar of Living the Soul of Recovery, Mastery is about being conscious in our responses. That takes rigorous honesty, integrity, and personal ownership of our choices. It takes a willingness to be accountable.
You have some sort of an experience? How do you choose to respond to it? Likewise, you have a vision for your life? How do you choose to respond to that vision? Will you do whatever it asks of you or will you retreat in frustration or weariness? The three components that will guide and support us in making the right choices on behalf of our Vision are: Strategy, Action and Maintenance. Let’s take a look at each.
Strategy – How to Develop a Structure for Your Vision
A vision is just an idle daydream if we don’t create a plan for it. What will it take to make the vision a reality? What steps do we have to take? What help will we need?
Just as the 12 Steps are a structure for recovery in AA, the ABCDE model is a structure for recovery in Rational Recovery, and the 6 Guidelines are a structure for recovery in SOS, so do we need a structure to strategize and plan out how we will accomplish our vision for a great life in recovery. To get from here to there, the three questions in the previous paragraph are a simple but practical start for the process.
Action – How to Put Your Strategy to Work for You
There is work to do; a vision won’t manifest by itself. It needs daily attention. There is something we can do on its behalf every day, though what that something is will likely change from day to day.
Of the many ways we can build in accountability to keep ourselves on track with our strategy, one of my favorites is commonly used in business. It is called working SMART, which stands for:
Specific – what must you do for your vision, in clear, concise, succinct terms?
Measurable – how will you know for sure that you are making progress?
Achievable – Can each step be done? How?
Relevant – Do all the steps lead toward your vision?
Timely – How will you ensure that you neither rush it nor dawdle?
Maintenance – How to Develop the Agility, Resilience and Perseverance to Sustain Your AIM in Recovery
Perseverance is key to success in any endeavor. It is easy to keep going when everything is running smoothly, going our way, and enjoyable. But we are going to hit rough spots, challenges, frustrations. Sometimes it may seem like the universe is conspiring against us instead of for us. How do we stay on track when the going gets tough?
A few of the many tools that can help you go with the flow while staying on target include:
1. Be like a hawk. A hawk can see the whole panorama and the details of the little mouse at the same time. But what does the hawk do? It glides on the air currents, relaxing until it has the energy and the mouse is in the right spot – then the hawk strikes. Be focused but patient. Do the next right thing, don’t do everything at once.
2. Be like a wolf. Did you know wolves choose their leaders by who is most creative or playful? Take your vision seriously, but at the same time have fun with it. Be curious, creative, playful.
3. Be like a cat. When a cat is at rest, it rests completely. Yet if there is a sound that resembles food, toy or prey, the cat’s little ear will follow that sound. It is determining what the sound is and how close. Even when a cat is doing one thing, it is aware of what’s around it.
So now you have the basic outline for keeping your AIM (Awareness, Intention and Mastery) on the target of an empowered, enthusiastic and enjoyable long-term recovery. There is so much more to Living the Soul of Recovery, and I hope you’ve enjoyed this taste of it.