Advanced, long-term recovery from addictions is what we who have suffered the stranglehold of addiction strive for. The joy and freedom of it is worth all the effort of abstinence, sobriety and early recovery.
Yet it can bring with it its own unique set of issues and challenges that are less intense or less of an issue in earlier stages of recovery when there was a clear, primary focus on recovery itself. Here is a partial list of some of the experiences we start to contend with once that single focus is resolved. Notice which ones apply to you:
• Increased stress over the pressures of life;
• Lack of clear direction or vision (“Now that I’ve grown up, what do I want to be when I grow up?”);
• An unsettling, indefinable sense of loss or emptiness;
• Feeling out of balance in other areas of life;
• A feeling of isolation, even among friends or recovery peers;
• Anxiety or worry about building a future;
• Overwhelm about the responsibilities of balancing recovery with other obligations;
• Increased awareness of the emotional and mental issues that led to addiction in the first place, and uncertainty how to manage them;
• Emotional or energetic blocks (feeling “stuck”) about what is the right action to pursue;
• Internal (or even external) pressure to succeed or “have it all together by now.”
These and other experiences can lead to feeling weary, lost, out of control. Unchecked, they can lead to depression, nervous breakdown, or even relapse. Many people react by shifting to another addiction, especially a process addiction such as “workaholism,” overeating, gambling, extreme sports or “shopaholism.”
As I said in my last post, I have witnessed this countless times in others who are working a good program of recovery, and I’ve experienced it myself. Years of observation, research and professional experience led me to develop a process that deals with these issues head on, in conjunction with recovery programs rather than instead of or in opposition to them. Called Living the Soul of Recovery, the process specifically addresses and resolves the inevitable struggles that most of us stumble over sooner or later.
To provide an overview, the process of Living the Soul of Recovery is broken into three parts, which I call “How to Improve Your AIM.” This idea stems from something my 12-step sponsor asked me early in my recovery: “What is your aim in recovery? Is it just to remain abstinent, or is it to have the best life you can?” Over the years since, I have thought frequently about that phrase – “aim in recovery” – and it became the seed from which Living the Soul of Recovery grew. AIM became an acronym of three key pillars for ongoing recovery:
Awareness
Intention
Mastery
A BRIEF OVERVIEW OF LIVING THE SOUL OF RECOVERY:
Here is the framework of the process:
AWARENESS:
• Mindfulness – How to Be Fully Conscious in the Present Moment
• Wisdom – How to Access Your Inner Knowing
• Essence – How to Meet and Greet the Real You, Your Life and Your Dreams
INTENTION:
• Vision – How to Create a Vision for Your Life
• Power – How to Use Your Unique Talents and Abilities on Behalf of Your Vision
• Embodiment – How to Sharpen and Ground Your Vision
MASTERY:
• Strategy – How to Develop a Structure for Your Vision
• Action – How to Put Your Strategy to Work
• Maintenance – How to Develop the Agility, Resilience and Perseverance to Sustain Your AIM in Recovery
When we follow this process, we begin to develop a practice of inner reflection that can provide us with greater understanding of who we are and why we operate the way we do. We discover some alternative ways of thinking and acting that provide us with more choice in how we navigate our lives in ongoing recovery. And we learn to become “the master of our destiny” by taking full responsibility for our lives and how we create our lives.
If we are truly engaged in the actions we take to improve our AIM, we discover an inspiring challenge and a great adventure in finding, creating or deepening the life we entered recovery for. One of the great lessons of recovery, regardless what program or method any of us may use to establish our recovery, is to take the next right action and trust that will lead to a positive result. Living the Soul of Recovery is designed specifically to help us clearly see and empower our individual next right step.
Simply put, Living the Soul of Recovery teaches:
Keep your mind open to what is possible for you;
Keep your heart open to what is meaningful to you;
Keep your hands open to what is doable by you;
And keep your soul open to what makes you come joyfully alive.
In the next three articles, we will look a little more closely at each of the three pillars.