In my last article, I wrote about the chemicals that are released in the brain in the addiction process. Here’s a brief recap:
– Dopamine, which stimulates arousal;
– Norepinephrine, which stimulates excitement;
– Oxytocin, which creates bonding;
– Prolactin, which releases tension; and
– Serotonin, which brings about satisfaction.
We all want to experience the pleasure, joy and relief this chemical sequence delivers.
But this happens naturally, without resorting to the thoughts and behaviors of addiction. How? The simplest answer is this famous three-word sentence from Joseph Campbell: “Follow your bliss.”
What does it mean to “follow you bliss?” It means doing what brings you joy, aliveness, well-being, or a deep connection to your heart-self, soul or higher-self. It is that feeling of excitement you get when you are doing something you are passionate about. Or the awe you feel when you experience the majesty of nature. It is many things, but it is deep – feeling like it goes right to the core of who you are.
Whenever we engage in the pursuit of something that makes us feel truly alive, we trigger the release of those chemicals in our brains. Brain research is teaching us that, biologically, the chemistry is what makes us makes us feel emotional, passionate, excited, and invigorated – and it is also this chemistry that we get addicted to.
We are meant to feel deeply alive, that’s how we are wired. But when we don’t know how to handle it, or are afraid of it, or pained by it, we try to control it through other than natural means. Sometimes we do that harmlessly – an hour of TV, an extra workout, a piece of chocolate cake, a lottery ticket. There is nothing wrong with a distraction from the reality of life occasionally. But when the distraction becomes the main attraction, and we make it a replacement reality, we lose ourselves.
So to get the benefits of better focus, keener awareness, strong connection, oneness, satisfaction and relaxation naturally, follow these steps:
• Love and believe in yourself, and decide to pursue what has value to you;
• Do something meaningful and rewarding that makes you come alive;
• Know what it is about that that energizes you so you can recreate it;
• Learn how to create the good feelings in every area of your life (relationships, work, play, etc.);
• Take care of yourself and get balance in your life so you can sustain the good feelings;
• And of course remember that the goal is improvement, not perfection – no one feels great all the time, so accept reality but don’t settle for it – keep heading in the direction of your “bliss!”
The desire to feel good about life and the chemistry to achieve that is built into us. Whether or not we develop our ability to use it in a healthy way is a choice. This is, I believe, the ultimate purpose of all the different models of recovery. I’ll talk about that in more detail in future articles in this series. If you’re not sure how to go about it, or have questions, contact me. I’m happy to help.