Digging Deep on the Nature of Love: a Man’s Perspective

I was talking with a few good friends. These men are among my kindred spirits and the discussions we get into are often deep, meaningful, even profound. On this particular occasion, the question was asked, “Can you and do you give yourself love?”

Now, we are a hodgepodge collection of businessmen, entrepreneurs, educators, craftsmen and such – just ordinary guys living ordinary lives doing ordinary things (though in extraordinary ways, which is probably why we respect each other so much). So the question hung in the air for a few moments of awkward silence while we dug a little deeper into ourselves than we had expected to.

As our souls and minds began to resonate with the question, words began to form and soon we were once again in lively discussion, this time on the nature of love. Collectively, we defined love as acceptance, compassion, care, respect, tenderness, and similar feelings, but we couldn’t quite address the question.

We seemed to universally agree that it is easier to love another than oneself, yet at the same time acknowledging that one can’t really love another until one loves himself – you can’t give what you ain’t got. Of course, most of us felt that we can receive love from others, such as spouses, family, and close friends, pretty readily. Sometimes, anyway. But give it to ourselves? That seemed elusive. It is more desirable but theoretical than truly experienced.

However, the power of our discussions is that we tend to challenge each other with questions like this, and they plant psychic seeds that we carry with us and periodically reflect upon for days or months to come. The answers are usually secondary to being with the questions.

So now I put the question to you: Can you and do you give yourself love? I’d love to hear your thoughts and feelings about the question and whether an answer emerges.

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