My wife and I sit on an antique rug that softens the old, wide-planked, hardwood floor. We are warmed by a gentle fire in our room at a quaint B&B about an hour or so from home. As is our long-time New Year’s tradition, our celebration is more ceremonial in nature as we say thank you and goodnight to the year that brought us to this moment, and welcome the new one in quiet, cozy comfort.
After we review the past year’s successes (we got married!) and failures (the “recession” bit our butts), we share our dreams for the year to come. I tend to dream big! As Pearl S. Buck once asked, “What’s the point of dreaming small? It’s your dream!” I think it is important to dream bigger than you think you are, or you’ll have nothing to grow into! One of my big dreams this year is based on a statement I made to my coach last month, and it’s a message to the world: “I want your deepest dreams to come true because we are here to live fully, with love and joy. But first, you must stop limiting yourselves with fear or self-destructive beliefs and habits. Instead, open your minds, hearts and arms to your amazing, inspiring, creative capabilities.” My dream is to take that message on as a mantra and rallying call for my work in a more powerful way than ever before.
Now, it’s no secret that I love coaching. Those who have worked with me know the commitment, training and focus I bring to their coaching experience. I open myself pretty vulnerably to my own experiences in order to be insightful, inspirational and intuitive for others. But there is always room for growth. I want to dig even deeper and find the full breadth and depth of the coach I aspire to be. People face some formidable challenges these days, and I’m committed to being just as formidable on behalf of their solutions.
So at this, the start of a new year, I put the same questions to you: What’s your dream for your life this year? Is it bigger than you think you are? I hope so. And I hope that this year your dream comes up and gives you a giant smootch, right on the lips! Figuratively anyway. What I’m saying is that this is a good time to define the life you want and go after it full tilt, no holds barred! Even if at first you can only pursue it part time, give that part time pursuit everything you’ve got.
The most powerful way to do this, however, is not by listing what objects you want to obtain or what accomplishments you want to achieve. The best way to create the life of your dreams is to focus on who you want to be. What are the values and attributes you aspire to? Leaning into those and actively becoming the person you strive to be (and have always been, deep inside) is the surest way to accomplish what you want to accomplish and acquire what is important to you.
When asked by Charlie Rose, “What makes you such a good actor?” I think is was Johnny Depp who said that he puts his ego aside, the part who cares whether or not he’s a good actor, and he becomes the character he’s playing. He doesn’t think, “How am I supposed to play this character?” He doesn’t even think of the character as someone to play. He IS that character, and good or bad doesn’t even come to mind. He’s just real. How will you take on your dream for yourself as something real to live in 2012?
Here are a few steps that will help you do that:
1. Be clear: discover what you really want, decide to go after it, commit to it, and make it bigger than your doubt or resistance to it (i.e., the excuses for not doing it). Keep your dream non-negotiable.
2. Change your thoughts: are your thoughts helpful and energizing? Do they propel you forward? If not, choose thoughts that do.
3. Take daily action: everything you do leads you either toward or away from your dream. Do the things – daily – that lead you toward it.
4. Get support: share your intentions with others who are truly supportive and/or have already done something like what you want to do so you can learn from them. Avoid naysayers!
5. Enjoy the process! Take yourself lightly, find humor in your mistakes, transcend your resistance. That’s the way to becoming resilient.
Finally, I’ll share my Intentions with you. These are the backbone of how I plan to fulfill my dream this year, and some may be helpful as you pursue yours.
In service to my dream, I intend and commit:
1) To live with heart, to do the courageously loving and honest thing in all my actions;
2) To be inspired by all that life offers and respectful of all life;
3) To maintain my physical, mental and spiritual health and well-being, and to change what I must;
4) To be teachable, and to have curiosity about things which challenge my beliefs;
5) To bring joy to what I do and to celebrate my efforts;
6) To take full responsibility for my thoughts, actions, and responses to my circumstances and experiences;
7) To grow, grow, grow – my business, relationships, creativity, playfulness, prosperity, community, spirituality – to expand every aspect of my life.
Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” My version is “Be the change you want to see in you, and your world will change.” Know who you want to be in 2012 and how you want to be. If you get stuck, I’m here to help. But you can do this – you can make the rest of your life the best of your life, and it can start now.
I offer you many blessings on your journey.